Only when we invest our attention, energy and time in another person we get to know that person and form a relationship with that person; it could be a parent-child relationship, husband-wife relationship, brother-sister relationship or relationship between friends, partners or colleagues.

Here’s a simple way to evaluate your relationship quotient!

Pick four important people in your life and rate your investment in these relationships on a scale of 1 -10, ten being the highest.

In your mind’s eye, look directly into the eyes of that person and answer the below two questions honestly, the sub-questions will help you go deeper to find true answers:

1.   WHAT IS YOUR INVESTMENT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP? (0 – 10)

–   How much time do you spend with this person?

–   How much effort do you put in this relationship?

–   How much attention do you pay this person?

–   How much do you think about the welfare of this person?

2.   WHAT IS YOUR INVESTMENT TO GROW THIS RELATIONSHIP? (0 – 10)

–   How accepting are you of this person?

–   How much can you sacrifice for this person?

–   How committed are you to the well-being of this person?

–   How committed are you to understand this person deeply?

Calculate your Relationship Quotient

Multiply the two numbers that you got as answers to question 1 and 2.

For example, if your investment in Relationship A is 5/10 and your investment to grow relationship A is also 5/10 then your relationship quotient with person A is 25/100. Our relationships are very sensitive, whether we invest or neglect, our relationships improve or decline exponentially.

How well are you doing? Are you pleased with your findings? What about your relationship with yourself?

The most important thing we need to do before we endeavour to establish or improve any relationship is to invest time in getting to know oneself; we should build a relationship with our very self first! What do we expect from ourselves, life, God, others?

The Bible says, ‘Be full unto yourself’. If we cultivate a very deep intimate relationship with our self, we cease to continuously seek attention and beg for love from outside. We become compassionate, love becomes an outpouring in us. One who is rich can share with others; else we continue to be beggars, forever dependent on others. If we kindle and nurture our relationship with self; we will not struggle in our relationship with others. It will reduce the demands and desires we try to pry from others and bring acceptance and contentment to our relationships.

Nurture your relationship with your own body, mind and soul and adjust it to one hundred, whenever you find it dipping.

Write down your relationship quotient with yourself at this moment in time?

Answer: ___ X ____ = ___.

How much do you wish to raise it to in the next three weeks?

Answer: __________